Internet blackouts. Hard drive failures. Wi-Fi configuration issues. Adobe Acrobat Reader updates. These are just a few of the daily drudgeries that the average IT professional handles on a regular basis. The number of people who need help is seemingly endless, and even small mistakes can end up costing the company millions of dollars. Plus, being the on-call tech expert means you're the one getting the early morning phone call when the company website mysteriously goes offline.
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But the job also offers the magic of understanding what goes on behind the scenes. There's an entire world of tech skills, protocols, standards, companies, and equipment working tirelessly to connect and power our daily lives. And the IT workers who deal with the annoyances of dysfunction on a daily basis can enjoy silly industry-specific jokes that go over the heads of today's average computer users.
Working in IT can definitely be stressful. While we're all for eliminating workplace stress, sometimes you just need to laugh. These jokes are some of our favorites shared by IT professionals.
1. A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer." The bartender replies, "You want a beer?" The TCP packet replies, "Yes, I'd like a beer."
2. Q: What does the networking seal say? A: Arp! Arp! Arp!
3. A programmer's wife asks him to pick up some groceries on his way home from work. He asks what she needs, and she says to pick up a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen. When he returns home, his wife asks why he brought home 12 gallons of milk, and he responds that they did indeed have eggs.
4. Q: Can you list all of the public top-level domains? A: ICANN.
5. Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
6. I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
7. "Knock, knock." "Who's there?"… … … "Java."
8. I'd tell you a joke about UDP, but you probably wouldn't get it.
9. A password cracker walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Then a Beer. Then a BEER. beer. b33r. BeeR. Be3r. bEeR. bE3R. BeEr.
10. There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
11. I would tell you a joke about the CIDR block, but you're too classy for it.
12. Q: How did you like my HTTP 200 joke? A: It was OK.
13. I ran out of new IPv4 jokes. I could tell you an IPv6 one, but I'm afraid you might not understand it.
14. An ARP request goes to McDonald's and asks for a Big MAC.
15. I was dressed up as a UDP packet for Halloween. I don't think anyone got it, but I couldn't tell.
16. Multicast jokes are awesome. But you'll get them only if you bother to listen.
17. A forged DNS packet walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Need a root?" The next day, no one can find the bar …
18. The worst thing about a broadcast joke is that you have to tell it to everyone to find the one person who gets it.
19. Five routers walk into a bar. One of the routers goes up to the bartender and asks for four Jack and Cokes, and one seltzer with lime. A drunk patron overhears, laughs, and asks the router, "Who's the seltzer for?" "I'm the designated router," he replies.
20. The best thing about IPv4 jokes is that you can tell them 254 times before they're exhausted.
21. Why do Python devs need glasses? Because they don't C#.
22. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.
23. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?" The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
24. There's a band called 999MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
25. Q: Why was the computer cold? A: It left its Windows open.
26. Q: How does a computer get drunk? A: It takes screenshots.
Dann Berg contributed to the writing in this article.